What do I want the Lord to do for me? (A meditation on Matthew 20:29-34)

“As they were leaving Jericho, a huge crowd followed. Suddenly they came upon two blind men sitting alongside the road. When they heard it was Jesus passing, they cried out, 'Master, have mercy on us! Mercy, Son of David!' The crowd tried to hush them up, but they got all the louder, crying, 'Master, have mercy on us! Mercy, Son of David!'”

“Jesus stopped and called over, 'What do you want from me?'

Matthew 20:29-31, The Message

Jesus is on his way up to Jerusalem for the very last time. The way Matthew tells this story (Mark and Luke tell it too), he's been on the road for the last few chapters heading up, up to the city that is renowned for rejecting and killing those who dare to speak truth to her, up to Gethsemane, Golgotha and a borrowed tomb.

The road is crowded with not only his entourage but also fellow

pilgrims on their way up to celebrate Passover as has been their custom for time immemorial. While passing through Jericho, two blind men learn that Jesus of Nazareth is passing by. His reputation as a miracle worker has preceded him and with opportunity knocking they begin to scream his name in hopes of gaining his attention and becoming yet another amazing story of his healing power. Much like they tried to keep little kids from pestering him (Matthew 19), now his handlers want to move him through Jericho as quickly as possible. And when they are told to pipe down they scream all the louder. After all, this may be their last chance to experience a touch by the Son of David.

Their efforts are rewarded. Jesus stops, looks in their direction and very directly asks them, “What do you want from me?” Because we've read the story before we know already how they're going to respond – they're going to ask for their eyes to be opened – but the question itself is worth contemplating. As Michael Card puts it:

“It is a harder question than you might imagine. For years I have placed myself in the story, in Bartimaeus's [named in Mark's version of the story] shoes. When Jesus asks me, “What can I do for you?” to this day I have not come up with an answer.” (Matthew: The Gospel of Identity, p. 181.) Honestly, I'm not sure how I would answer myself.

I think of Solomon shortly after becoming king. God appears to him in a dream and says to him, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you” (1 Kings 3:4-15). He could have asked for anything – wealth, power, influence, fame – but instead humbly asks:  “Give me a God-listening heart so I can lead your people well, discerning the difference between good and evil” (v. 9, Msg). For such an answer he gets what he's asking for – and then some.

Would I ask for wealth so I'd never sweat the small offering ever again? Would I ask for health so that cancer nor COVID-19 could ever touch me? Would I ask for long life, fame, “big” church prestige or ramble out the odd assortment of items on my bucket list? Somehow all those things ring hollow. Hezekiah, when informed by Isaiah that he was going to die, begged God for more time. God gave him what he asked for and during the remaining fifteen years of his life a son was born to him – a son so profane who would live to undue everything he had done during his mostly distinguished reign. In retrospect would it have been wiser to stoically resign himself to his death? Fame and fortune are relatively fleeting things, here today, gone tomorrow and I'm told that many of those folk who enjoy such things also enjoy more stress and anxiety as well and seem to do if the tabloids are even partially true

At 58, I think of my life and I'm thankful that I'm married to a woman who still loves and cares for me 34 years into our marriage, that our four adult children all walk with Jesus and are engaged in meaningful work that they are well suited for and are active participants in the fellowship they belong to. For nearly 29 years I have had a place to work out my calling and along the way have learned to wear other hats like coach, chaplain, teacher and mayor. I don't have everything I want but I certainly can say I have everything I need.

So what do I want? What can the Lord do for me? The best answer I can come up today (who knows? I may come up with a better answer tomorrow) is:

11 Teach me your way, Lord,

    that I may rely on your faithfulness;
give me an undivided heart,
    that I may fear your name.
12 I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart;
    I will glorify your name forever.
13 For great is your love toward me;
    you have delivered me from the depths,
    from the realm of the dead.

(Psalm 86:11-13, NIV)

Lord knows, I want to be a good pastor, mayor, coach, husband and father. But more than success at any and all of these endeavors I do so want an undivided heart that in all things I will demonstrate faithfulness and love to Him who formed me and called me and placed me on this earth to do some good.

Can you really ask for anything more?