Longing for my old routine

rut¹

n

1. a groove or furrow in a soft road, caused by wheels

2. any deep mark, hole, or groove

3. a narrow or predictable way of life, set of attitudes, etc.; dreary or undeviating routine (esp in the phrase in a rut)

Ruts. They are usually places we want to get out of as in, “I'm stuck in a rut.” And we've all been there – following a very predictable flight pattern day in and day out – until grace or serendipitous occurrences get us out of one. But for the record, ever since returning from the Philippines at the end of March I have been longing for my "old" routine.

How so?

I returned on a Tuesday and how wonderful it was to come home to my family, my own bed, hot water and a meal without rice for a change. The next day, I purposefully stayed around the house (in fact, as I recall, it was a “snow” day so apart from Christine, everyone was home). I did pop in at the office in the afternoon only to discover that I couldn't turn my computer on. At the time I figured, 'No worries,' only to discover by the weekend that, in fact, while I was away our building had experienced a power surge of some kind because the hard drive was fried. I could access my Facebook page and blog from home and I had my flash drive and the files contained on that, but it's not the same as working in your own office, in your own comfortable chair, at your own computer without the distractions of a loving wife and the hum of our refrigerator in the next room. At the same time, I was going through the customary week-long jet-lag that I have experienced every time I have returned from the Orient causing me to nap frequently. Besides, when I work at home even though it may be "church"-work it doesn't feel like I'm at work because, well, I'm at home.

In the meantime, a crew of 30-some students and staff from IHOP came to town for a three day prayer event that included a corporate worship gathering at Chetek Alliance on that first Sunday home. The following Sunday was our annual pulpit exchange so that even though I was back in town I was not with my “tribe” yet as I preached at Advent that Sunday. That second week back I worked mainly from home until inexplicably we developed computer issues there as well that caused our internet service to be interrupted (which made it impossible to access our Netflix account, too). By the following week, systems were coming back on line at home and at Refuge but then I discovered that the computer we had been using had Word on it but the “new” system that Kale had built for us did not. Therefore I had to download OpenOffice, a pseudo-Word program that, free though it is, it's a whole lot clunkier and I'm still learning the ins and outs of it. Add to this, all my email contacts were lost in the power surge so last week I busied myself in rebuilding my mailing lists. That was fine until I came in the next day and turned my computer on only to discover that my address book was completely empty. Everything I had replaced was gone again (apparently some anti-virus “deep-freeze” program that Kale installed on the computer also inadvertently affected my address book, or so I learned later). It gets better. So, I replaced the “lost” emails again but during that process the computer froze up so I turned the system off and yes, my address book was absolutely empty when it came back on again. So, until Kale can address that woe, I leave the computer on (now with a note attached because Nancy came in one day and thinking the computer off turned it on only to discover that she had turned it off instead; when she got it rebooted yes, my address book was empty again).

This is sounding terribly whiny. There was a day when I conducted my ministry entirely without access to the computer and the internet. I had a little electronic typewriter that I did my sermonizing on. If I needed information and it was not contained in any of the resources in my office, I went without it. (Where would I be today without Google, Wikipedia or the plethora of resources that I can access within seconds from the comfort of my office?) But for that Sunday I preached at Advent when I had to hand-write my notes my prep time felt terribly awkward and, yes, unnatural.

And another thing, one of the reasons I was hesitant to travel to the Philippines (maybe the only real one) was the break in my running routine. Running is more than a duty for me, something I “have” to do to keep my weight from ballooning (although, there is that). It is something of a spiritual discipline with me. It is a prophetic statement to myself that I am “running the race with perseverance” (Heb 12:2) and while running I am always cognizant of the fact that like Father Abraham, I am marking out the territory for the Lord Jesus (see Genesis 13:17) (which is the reason that running every road in our county is a goal I continue to pursue). But when you travel, your running regimen is usually disrupted. Mine certainly was. I got three days in that first week in-country but when we headed to Palanan given the rain which turned the trails to mud any hope of running went by the way side. And coming back mid-week didn't help much. My first run after something like a 3-week break was a measely 2.5 mile loop during which I had to walk FOUR times. Yeesh. It doesn't matter that I have been running since 1999; when you take nearly a month off when you start again it feels like you're starting all over from scratch. And a lack of regular running routine leaves me unsettled with myself.

The sum of this rant is now nearly a month back from my journey across the Pacific, I feel out of sorts, overweight, and technically clumsy. I am longing for a “normal” week of meeting with leaders, spending time at the Justice Center, writing, preaching and study and at the same time running well and regularly (when the weather turned wintery this week, I suddenly found myself more reluctant than usual to put the shoes on and go; so, I didn't; three days without running = a certain modicum of pain on Saturday when I plan on running next).

Did I mention that my office is a mess?

It is and I'm reaching the breaking point.

In case you're wondering, I don't consider any of this spiritual warfare or the work of some imps trying to mess with my day. If anything, the fact that on the inside I don't roll easily with such lack of routine and inconvenient interruptions reveals I have more issues with “control” than I thought I did.

Rats.

Anybody seen my old routine? I thought I left it around here someplace.