“God places lonely people in families. He leads prisoners out of prison into productive lives, but rebellious people must live in an unproductive land.” Psalm 68:6, GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995)
Some happenings lately in the lives of a few of the folks who make up our fellowship have caused me to think on the meaning of discipleship once again (see “The Essence of Discipleship” 3/9/11). And for that matter, the meaning of “church” altogether. I choose to name them by their real names not because I speak for them but because I am glad they are a part of us and see the character of Jesus being formed in them. If they happen to read this and take offense at the manner in which I describe them, I hope they realize how much we don't see them as problems to be fixed but opportunities for all of us to grow in the grace of God.
Samantha is a 19-year-old girl in our midst who is pregnant. Unexpectedly, her mother died last summer and while she has a relationship with her father, he doesn't live anywhere near here. In some real way, she is an orphan alone in this world. A year ago in June she excitedly headed on down the road to Kansas City with the intent of getting a job and eventually doing an internship at the International House of Prayer there. But life interrupted. Like Abram who found himself in the midst of a famine in the promised land, she took a detour and...well...soon she'll be a mommy. At this point in time, she intends on keeping the baby – a brave choice for one so young and so alone. Sure she gets WIC now and has access to whatever else the State of Wisconsin provides for young women in just her circumstance. But Sam needs way more than social welfare – she needs a family. And Rick and Sandy are just that family. The Lamberts, also members of The Refuge, have graciously opened up their home to Sam so that in the short term she has a safe place to roost. It certainly helps that they love her and that she's best buds with Sarah, their 18-year-old daughter. But key in this move is that Rick and Sandy aren't trying to “fix” Sam – there's just making room for her in their family and giving Sam the opportunity to respond to whatever the Holy Spirit's agenda in her life at the present time may be.
A few years ago, Brianna, a young 20-something blew into our fellowship like a Nor'easter and quickly endeared herself to a lot of us. With her thick New England accent and her straightforward way of dealing with people it was clear she was not from around here. Ostensibly, she came to live with a former childhood friend and her husband, but in reality she was at a point in her life where she didn't know what else to do. Her mother lives in Massachusetts and she has no relationship with her father. When after a few months her friend and her husband decided to move back East, Brianna did not have the inclination to join them. She chose to stay on and for the last year and a half has been sharing a house with yet another young woman from our fellowship. But a few months back she lost her full time job and while soon after found part-time employment as a hostess at a local restaurant it has been difficult to find another gig to supplement her income. And certainly it isn't because she hasn't tried. Since she can no longer afford even the minimal rent she pays for her room at the house down the street from us, what is a girl in her situation to do? If you're from Barron County, the norm seems to be that if you can't find a roomie you “hook up” with some guy for a less than chaste domestic partnership or, in the summer months, you live in your car. But neither of those solutions are viable, especially if, like Brianna, she is a disciple of Jesus. A week or so ago, Linda and I approached Brianna and invited her to live with us until she can get back on her feet. But we made it clear that we didn't want our home to be a flop house; rather, we want her to join our family for a season and enter into the rhythms of our household. She moves in on Friday. We expect it to be a temporary solution until her economic situation improves but we love this girl and at the moment have an open room and a willingness to open our home to her.
The other day, Linda and I were reflecting about how many pseudo-orphans we have collected at Refuge at the present time: Samantha, Brianna, Shelby (her father passed away a few months ago and her mother has been deceased for some time now; she's 21 years old). Pity won't help them. And neither do they want it. Thinking out loud, Linda remarked, “I wish we had a house where they all could live...” But my response is we don't need a home; we just need to open our home and make room in our lives for them to move into. Of course, not everyone is in a place where they can just throw the door open to the stranger in our midst and wisdom would counsel discernment. But real discipleship cannot be accomplished in a classroom through the transference of knowledge alone or in a small group experience in and of itself. Having either participated in or facilitated several Alpha courses in the past I can say with some authority that the teaching, as well presented as it is, doesn't “seal the deal” nor does successfully completing a course make one qualified to be considered a disciple. No, we become people of the Way (as it once was called) through the love and care of others who are willing to get involved in our often messy lives when we are raw and, spiritually speaking, in process. A convert can be made via short wave radio or through the efforts of a televangelist. But disciples are birthed and mentored by caring people who understand that babies do not become adults over the course of a few months but over years of steady love and nurture. Which is why I don't get too excited anymore over an altar full of people responding to a gospel message. Obviously, it's an awesome thing when someone “crosses over” from being a resident of this world to becoming a citizen of heaven. But without nurture, without care – and careful care at that – how apt is that convert to grow up into becoming a servant of Jesus marked with the love of God? My answer is not as many who have gone forward or prayed some kind of sinner's prayer found in a gospel tract.
“You paid careful attention to the way we lived among you, and determined to live that way yourselves.” 1 Thessalonians 1:5
“We weren't aloof with you. We took you just as you were. We were never patronizing, never condescending, but we cared for you the way a mother cares for her children. We loved you dearly. Not content to just pass on the Message, we wanted to give you our hearts. And we did.”
1 Thessalonians 2:7-8
“With each of you we were like a father with his child, holding your hand, whispering encouragement, showing you step-by-step how to live well before God, who called us into his own kingdom, into this delightful life.” 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12
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