When the chicks begin to fly the coop

Fly the coop (mainly American)

to leave somewhere, especially to leave your home for the first time in order to live away from the family thefreedictionary.com

Last night we went to bed with a house with only four people in it – Charlie, Emma, Linda and I. It's not like it hasn't happened before. Through the middle school and high school years camp, school outings and the occasional sleep-over have reduced our household by three or more. But last night, maybe for the first time, Linda and I experienced what will be our new normal at least for the immediate future. We have entered the beginning stages of becoming “empty-nesters.”

Packed and raring to go

A week or so ago, we drove Ed down to Kansas City, MO so that he could begin a six-month internship at the International House of Prayer there. On a hot, Thursday morning we moved him into his apartment, helped him get his clothes and things situated and then connected at Applebees for lunch with our friends the Lamberts who were there to do the same with their daughter, Sarah. It was like a collective “last supper” together. After lunch, Sarah jumped in our car and together we went in search for a Wal-Mart to buy things like laundry soap and the like. Then after dropping Sarah off back at the House of Prayer, we tooled over to Justin and Tara's house, former Refuge-es, to rest a bit before dinner and the orientation to follow. The plan had been to join Ed for dinner in the cafeteria at the main complex on Red Bridge Road with all the other interns and their parents but apparently there was a little mix-up between the kitchen and administration because when we arrived, the queue was decidedly all interns. Not wanting to seem like we needed to hold Ed's hand, we told him we would meet him after dinner and we stepped outside and grabbed something at Higher Grounds next door (as well as ran into our girls who were down in Kansas City attending the Fascinate Young Adult Conference).

Outside the door of his new digs

After dinner, we drove over to IHOPU to attend orientation. Linda became quiet and pensive knowing that the time for saying good-bye was nearing. Orientation was held in a large room that was already buzzing with idle chatter as we entered. The set-up was awkward to say the least. They had arranged 9 large circles around the room for the interns to sit and be oriented by what is referred to as their Core Leaders. There were chairs for parents placed just outside the circle so that we could listen in but it felt like we were spectators at some kind of athletic event. The guy who is over the Onething Internship (OTI) introduced himself as well as a dozen other leaders and asked each to share their heart for the next six months. Almost to a man (there were women leaders as well), however, they each said the same thing: “We hope your son or daughter has encounter with the God who loves them.” Well, duh...that's why he's here. I'd rather had heard what a normal day in the life of an IHOP intern would look like and what kinds of classes he would be attending. And then the guy said, “We're going to be filling out forms and the like for the next three hours. You're welcome to stay but we just want you to know it's going to be awhile.” And just like that it was clear this was the time to exit stage right. So, I whipped out my video camera, had him record a few thoughts and then hugged him and we exited the room. We drove over to Justin and Tara's home and they took us out for ice cream but that night as we lay in bed, the pang of separation was keenly felt by both of us.

Ah, those were the days...

Christine's new place

Last Friday, we helped Christine move her things and clothes into the house she will be sharing with Hope, a young woman from Refuge. At 23 years of age, she has been despairing that she would ever get out of the house but about a month ago Hope approached her with an offer. While she's not out of Chetek yet, at least she's one block further away from home. Grandma Martin bought her first two new pieces of furniture – a nightstand and dresser – but assembly was required. The nightstand was easy but the dresser became a consuming event for Friday afternoon and evening. We may have not been making clocks, as the guy who remodeled my house loved to always quip, but we put that thing together at least twice before we moved it into her room.

Moving day

Emma stayed with her Friday night but last night was her first night “on her own” in her new home. Of course, a severe thunderstorm came through our area around 10:30 p.m. causing the sirens to go off and when lightning struck a nearby utility pole knocking out power all over town, I realized we had never discussed where she should hide in case of such a scenario. So I tried to reach her on her cell phone to no avail. She called around 11 asking for the number for the power company but we assured her that they were aware and were working the problem. The rain was coming down in a torrential downpour and the wind was gusting and suddenly I had the urge to run down the street and stay with her until the storm passed. But, she sounded okay on the phone and reckoning that sooner or later she would have to deal with just this kind of trouble, I turned over and went to sleep.

After 10 days of not hearing anything from Ed other than the few items he posted on his Facebook page, he called yesterday. He sounded good and he was excited to share with us some highlights from his life at IHOP thus far. Linda was on one extension and I on the other as we plied him with questions ranging from how he was adjusting to his roommates (“great!”) to his first successful completion of his laundry (“Mom, is it better to put my pink shirt with whites or darks?”) He told me he had figured out a running route down there but when he told me his plan to run between “the House,” as it is frequently referred to, and FCF (Forerunner Christian Fellowship), I immediately reminded him to run facing traffic knowing how busy both Red Bridge and Grandview Roads are and suggested he try a few of the quieter neighborhoods nearby. This letting-go thing isn't easy.

When we had three in diapers (three! - and all in cloth diapers at that), sweet old ladies at church would pat Linda on the shoulder and say, “Enjoy these years, honey, because one day you'll miss this.” To wit Linda would often mutter when they were out of earshot, “I can't wait to miss these days.” For years, my dad has been warning me, “Enjoy your kids and all this activity because one day your house is going to be a whole lot quieter.” I never disagreed with him. In fact, I have thoroughly delighted in the litany of concerts and plays and athletic events our kids have been involved in through their growing up years (okay, I admit, I wasn't a fan of the traveling basketball team that Christine was on when she was in middle school). Back in May following the conclusion of the Sectional track meet where Ed ran his last race as a high school athlete, both Linda and I felt like weeping (and did) because we realized that it was over. While there will be other Chetek-Weyerhaueser athletes to cheer for, never again will our son wear the purple and black. Last night, as Linda and I laid in bed listening to the rain pound upon the roof she said, “Two of our babies have left the nest.” Yeah. And this is just the beginning – by next summer, Emma will be posing for her senior pictures. Where does it go?

Our last meal together for awhile

When we were down in Kansas City, a good friend of mine messaged me on Facebook and asked me how it was going. I shared with her some of the emotions we both were experiencing to wit she replied,

“It's hard but I guess that's what we raise them to do. Most of our life is an adult. The window is so short that we have them. We forget it's a gift.” It's so true. We take for granted what a blessing it is to sit down with your family and enjoy a simple meal. Like we did the night before the girls left for Fascinate. It was a Monday night and fish sticks were on the menu. It suddenly occurred to me that this would be the last time we would all be together for awhile – the girls were leaving in the morning, we would be traveling to Kansas City the day afterward and when we returned, Christine would be moving out. I'm sure we're going to have dinner together again but we have crossed a certain threshold. After dinner we walked down to Dairy Queen for dessert, quoting movie lines, laughing and playing an impromptu game of tag as we have played for years running (Charlie has long since lost any pleasure in the thing). When we got back home, the kids were heading off to the drive-in when Ed suggested we pray together as a family given this would be the last time we would be together for awhile. As he began to pray, he also began to cry thanking God for his family and all the wonderful times we have shared together through the years. His tears provoked a chain reaction in the rest of us – save Charlie – as we each took our turn in giving thanks. Charlie's response to this display was pragmatic: “Can we go now?” He was eager, after all, to see Cars 2 at the drive-in. And that's how our last evening together for awhile ended – with the kids piling into the van and driving off to the movies and mom and dad busying themselves in the garden or sweeping off the porch.

Oh, that terrible storm we had last night? Lightning not only struck the utility pole near their house – it struck their house. Christine first called home early this morning describing a very blackened outlet. Since I wasn't there she reached me at the office and she reported it being “a little smoky” and that it was “sparking a bit”. Honestly, I didn't think too much about it but before I drove home to get cleaned up for worship I stopped in at her place to check things out. When I walked into her kitchen, I knew something was amiss. There was a tinge of burnt something in the room and the outlet had definitely been fried. When I hit the breaker to reset power to the kitchen, however, fire flared out of the outlet. It died down right away but I took her cell and quickly dialed 911. I just wanted someone from the fire department to look at it. But within five minutes there were two fire trucks, an ambulance and a full complement of EMTs, a police officer and about a dozen firefighters on scene. One night out on her own and already we have drama (though not of her own making.) They suspect that thing had smoldered all night long so it could have been far worse.

Ed will be back come Christmas after the completion of his internship. And so may Christine depending on the job market or other unseen factors. But there's no turning back the clock. Our little chicks are flapping their wings in anticipation of flying the coop. And as my dad reminded me just tonight, not only are they getting older I am too.