Abiding in the Vine?

The other day, Joe, who serves our fellowship as youth leader of The Focus, and I got into a conversation on the subject of "abiding." He had recently been asked by another, "How was he abiding?" (or words to that affect)and he was perplexed as to how to respond to their question. What, after all, does it mean to "abide"? Is it something we do or is something that is done to us? Is it the application of certain spiritual disciplines or is it acknowledging a sense that we intuitively grasp that, yes, indeed we are?

In John 15, Jesus shares with his first disciples and with we his later ones that the secret of fruitfulness is "abiding."

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself,
except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.
(v. 4, KJV)

At the very least, this verse suggests organic connection with Him. If I am to bear fruit "that remains," it can only flow out of my relationship with him. If the sap ceases to flow into me, then something positionally has ceased to be (and depending what camp you fall into, that may, in fact, be theologically impossible!)

Our conversation made me reflect upon my life, if I am "abiding" or just faking it. This from my journal entry on Saturday, April 24:

"It seems like I've been tending to everything but God's Presence this week. I've been present at prayer meetings (Mon night, Tues morning & night, Sat morn). I've prayed with several individuals (Mon night, Wed night, Fri morning and afternoon). I've been reading regularly in two books - Worshiping with the Church Fathers & Surprised by the Power of the Spirit. I've met with my deacons, my elder, my fellow pastors, my youth leader (and those who work with him). I've hung out with my wife, my kids & tended to my duties as MS track coach. I've read to my kids & blogged this week. I've been w/everyone but the Lord - or so it seems."

I read this paragraph and I think, "Pastorally speaking, it was a fairly productive week." But I wonder how others might read the same. Do they notice my lack of reference to Bible reading and are shocked by that (I did some personal reading later on Saturday if that is any consolation)? Do they wonder did I "spend" time with the Father? In the end, perhaps this reveals more about their definition of "abiding" than the truth of mine.

I realize that meeting with Him is not about checking boxes or "doing" things (i.e., reading my Bible, spending x-amount of time in prayer, etc.)Fruit on the vine, after all, do not grow of their own accord or by the sole exertion of effort. Rather, they are nourished by the life-giving sap of the Vine.

Joe's friend is concerned for him, to be sure. But what is it that they are ultimately alarmed at? His lack of spiritual performance? His (apparently) un-Mary like tendencies? Is it posture? Is it attitude? Is it activity (or lack thereof)? Frankly, I get their reaction. On a fairly regular basis I freak out at myself when I lapse into "un-abiding." But what I mean by that has more to do with my perception of the quality of what was once referred to as "my Quiet Time."

Perhaps one way to gauge the degree of "abiding" that is going on is to judge what kind of fruit is growing on the "tree." Am I behaving in a more Christ-like manner or less? Is my hunger for him growing or waning? Am I growing in holiness or is my spiritual conduct more motivated by the fact that my job requires it? Do I love people or do I simply fake it so that I will be perceived as a good pastor?

Joe doesn't think he's doing a good job of "abiding." For that matter, I don't think I'm doing a great job at it as well. I'm producing messages, conducting prayer meetings, encouraging leaders, holding meetings but the unsettling truth is I could keep a lot of plates spinning, at least for awhile, and maintain some degree of spiritual vitality. They, in themselves, do not prove or disprove the truth of my "abiding." Perhaps the best people to ask are those who know us well. In my case, ask my wife, ask my kids. They are probably better judges than most of the people at Refuge or myself as to how well Christ's character is being formed in me.

As far as I'm concerned, Joe is too hard on himself (and so may his friend be, too). I see a young man who over time is growing more hungry for the Word, more attentive to his area of spiritual responsibility, more concern for his co-workers who are without Christ. I see spiritual growth and development at a pace that doesn't necessarily satisfy him but it's progress all the same. And as Friedrich Nietzsche once wrote, "The essential thing ‘in heaven and earth’ is. . . that there should be a long obedience in the same direction; there thereby results, and has always resulted in the long run, something which has made life worth living."

That last quote was for you, Joe. Keep up the good work and may the Lord teach us both to abide and rid us all of performance-minded activity that we may live lives truly pleasing to Him.